Vices and Explosions

Quitting my vices

Like one last goodbye 

Like one last kiss 

One more "I love you"

Something about it that is so attractive 

Even with all the warning signs 

Yet the obsession with feeling good 

With something that isn't 

From cigarettes to junk food 

It always crosses the mind that I shouldn't have 

It is as if danger sits quietly in my blind spot 

Sitting with the smile of evil patience

The kind that accompanies slow death 

My determination to stand resolute

In the face of the hard slap that comes in slow motion 

Even though I know I can move and duck this at any time 

But instead of getting up and walking away I sit right there 

Sitting across from death on the other couch staring back 

As if willing him to get to me sooner 

Leap across the room and sink his teeth into my neck 

Only pausing to say "you had your chance"

Death doesn't flinch however 

In his slow, yet finite evil patience 

Choosing instead to see if I have the will to get away

Get up off my couch and walk away 

No last goodbyes to my vices 

Not pulled back for one more deathly kiss

Instead, set it alight and walk away 

Without looking back

Because cool guys don't look at explosions

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015