Saturday, October 31, 2015

Patchwork Heart

I've done it again 
Put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in hand 
I didn't think that I could 
Though now I know that I can 
I clean my dirty lenses
A futile effort 
Because perhaps they're broken
And that's why I have no foresight
It doesn't matter though at the end
I'm just a silly man 
My heart I've failed to defend
Now it begins 
Stitching back together my patchwork heart
Soon it will be time again 
To put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in someone else's hand

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Heart In The Well

Found my heart at the bottom of a well
So I sent down a pail to fetch it
All in vain, for the pail was broken
Hole punched through
And my heart fell back in
Sinking into the depths

Many times I have tried
To climb down inside
But it got deeper as I cried
My tears filled the well
I'd climb back out a shell
So at the bottom my heart did dwell

I need a little help
Someone to hold the rope
Help me descend into the deep dark well
So I may bring my heart to the surface
That I may be loved once again

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Master Of None

Done it all
But never enough
Life's at a crawl
Around the edges I'm rough

From selling phones
To cooking food
I've swept floors
And reported the news

Worked at Amazon
Did a stint at Tesco
My education's gone
Many times I've let go

From microbiology to sound
I might have had some fun
But in the end I only found
That I am Master Of None

(C) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Autumn Romance

Leaves that drift to the ground
Over fall, turning red, yellow and brown
Veils that part to show your face
Each day basking in your embrace

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Thursday, October 15, 2015

House of Cards

A relationship is like a house of cards
It is hard to tell who supports whom
Like her head resting on his shoulder
And his head resting on her head
If she is his strength, how is he her pillar?
Scientists would solve the energy crisis if they could work out those figures
But then there comes a time or a few, if you're lucky
And from the delicate balance of card supporting card
One of you becomes a wall
A rock strong enough to take it all
An immovable mountain standing resolute to the earthquakes
Biding time until you both can say "piece of cake"
Until finally when the dust settles
And with the air clear, you sift through the rubble
Find each other at the end of the day
Build your house of cards once again

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Missing Happiness

It is a strange thing to feel happy
Something beyond the high of a drug
A different planet than the mirth of a drunk
Immeasurable like the idea of a god 
Leaving you to sit there and nod
While the waves barely tickle your toes
You miss happiness
Not entirely but almost unlike missing a person
Like falling in love with the shadow of someone 
You never really miss being happy, just the idea of it
Like a joke heard more than once becomes less funny on each retelling
You're not sure if happiness is just not as happy as it used to be 
Or is it just me, you ask 
Part of you wants to turn around and run back
Back to where it was always happy 
Back to when sadness was just an empty pack of cigarettes
And happiness was finding that one last smoke
Back when sadness was not knowing what to eat 
And happiness was good old biryani 
And so you miss happiness 
An idea of feeling that poets like me fail to describe 
Even if you bottle it, you wouldn't like it

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


They say those who can't do, teach
But those who can teach should
For it is not enough to just read out loud 
Use this stage to do some good 
Yet we are mostly treated to glorified human textbooks 
Making school the same place they hated
The love and the passion mostly lost 
The magic of the lessons surely ill fated
As the world spins out of control 
Weather turning pages on human history
The need for bright young minds rises
Invent ways to fix our ecology 
Education is for the privileged 
And school is for their growing minds
But what is the point of a ship without a compass 
Just victims of the education decline

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Vices and Explosions

Quitting my vices
Like one last goodbye 
Like one last kiss 
One more "I love you"
Something about it that is so attractive 
Even with all the warning signs 
Yet the obsession with feeling good 
With something that isn't 
From cigarettes to junk food 
It always crosses the mind that I shouldn't have 
It is as if danger sits quietly in my blind spot 
Sitting with the smile of evil patience
The kind that accompanies slow death 
My determination to stand resolute
In the face of the hard slap that comes in slow motion 
Even though I know I can move and duck this at any time 
But instead of getting up and walking away I sit right there 
Sitting across from death on the other couch staring back 
As if willing him to get to me sooner 
Leap across the room and sink his teeth into my neck 
Only pausing to say "you had your chance"
Death doesn't flinch however 
In his slow, yet finite evil patience 
Choosing instead to see if I have the will to get away
Get up off my couch and walk away 
No last goodbyes to my vices 
Not pulled back for one more deathly kiss
Instead, set it alight and walk away 
Without looking back
Because cool guys don't look at explosions

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Keep Calm

Take my breath away
I don't want it back
In your eyes hold me sway
Until the day I fade to black
Once again I see dreams
Of special days and more
Reign in my hope-steed
Dreams that I adore
Calm down the heart's flutter
Fireworks in my brain
There are words I dare not utter
Oh how I must restrain

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Book Worms

I opened a book
Out came the worms
But I didn't mind
For they were my friends within the words
Wrapped up in their blanket
Keeping me warm with their stories
The worms they came out
Like from an apple core
Boring into my mind
Leaving their homes behind
Making their stories mine
Drilling deeper and deeper into my soul
Trying to fill my heart and its holes
And then in the mirror I see
I'm the book I meant to read
That my book is a mere reflection of who I meet
Every book I've read
Every moment I dread
Every word I've said
And all those I haven't
Just worms that burrow into the book of me
Footnotes upon footnotes
A human journal with the pages faded and fading
Open my book and the worms come out
Like from the core of the rotten apple
Do you read me like I never have
Let these worms into your hands
They feed out of you
As you feed out of them
Please stay just another page
Close my book at the end

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Monday, October 5, 2015

The Ladder of Hope

By now I should have figured it out
Who am I and what am I all about?
I'm not anything by definition
A stack of many grand delusions
But I should have had something by now
A job I know and some luxuries allowed
Instead I feel like the last kid writing a test
Struggling to get through, his worst at its best
And if it wasn't enough to feel this dumb
My machine is faulty and I'm feeling numb
Finding irony in that numbness can be felt
Trying to laugh, hoping my fears melt
What of hope and all that it never brings?
Just a ladder leaning against nothing
Yet the fool that I am continues to hope
Even as I fumble on the slippery slope
I am ever the wounded optimist
Slowly infected by the pessimist
Yet I find no point in all of me
Write as I do, poems are all they'll ever be

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015