Anybody

I exist in my stories
In these words I write
In the notes I play
On these lonely nights

Can you hear me?
The music in these lines
The silence in my sounds
Have you tried?

I miss the warmth
The safety in knowing
I am lost now
The cracks are growing

If you can hear me
Come back and shout
You can be anybody
That I am without

Fortress of Solitude

My castle is a prison
My palace is a tomb
Here by myself
My fortress of solitude

Displaced from society
One man's reality
Locked in my mind
Only the filth roams free

Sometimes they visit
I try to entertain
They try save me
But only in vain

So I keep them away
I know I seem rude
Lock me away
My fortress of solitude

Tripping In The Dark

Spoil me for the world
Soiled now every word
All faces sporting masks
Falling graces slippery grasp

They moved away in my dark
Lights now on in empty room
Then and now dissonance stark
Swept up in witches' broom

Hunger grows for new game
The heart though not tame
Looking around for the start
Tripping In The Dark

Fun and Games

I do not fear heights
But falling this way keeps me up at night
We say it's just fun and games
Yes it is fun, but this game is insane
Play around with words as much as we do
Unlike the birds I am falling right into you
Yes it is all just fun and games
We're just having a laugh standing in the rain

I miss you, it's true
But what does it mean?
My thoughts include you
If you know what I mean
Am I jumping too quick?
Leaping too high?
Is it gonna make me sick?
Is it worth the sigh?

I'm gonna stay as long as I can
I am afraid that I'm just a broken man
If and when you do figure me out
I hope that you don't just gut me like trout
As I walk in the dark with a faulty torch
Shadows leap at me and scare my heart
You see it's all just fun and games
Until someone gets hurt and can't bear the pain.

Serious Joke

It is fun to joke
And every line is a poke
We laugh to make light
For now it feels right

Every word heavy with meaning
Are you serious? Am I dreaming?
I reply with equal intent
You laugh like it's pretence

As we ride at breakneck speed
The lines are thin indeed
Between "you and me" or "us"
Dare I ask, love or lust?

Is this a meant to be?
We should wait and see
Would you wait until then,
To sign papers in pen?

Perhaps we are just friends
Maybe I'll get to see you again
You seem to be perfectly nice
How do you feel about this rhyme?

A fine ramble

We've come a long way from the time of the one love.
Today we may have several loves
Like changing fashions to fit our style

What exists now that didn't back then?
The feeling hasn't gone away for sure
Every time it feels real
Every time you think this could be the one
The chase is fun, but for how long?

One day you will want to just hold her/him and say "I'm not going anywhere if you're not!"
Hopefully it is not too late by then
If you can look into their eyes and feel that this right here is amazing, that's more than many can hope for.
To give that up for the endless chase is a stupid thought in itself. Even the thought that this could end at anytime is something more powerful than we realise. The pain of the loss of love is mistaken for a risk not worth taking.
That pain is beautiful and is an exceptionally powerful feeling to connect to. It is simultaneously as powerful as the love you feel, which you probably think is the only feeling you need/want to have.

It would be fine if as a species, we lived alone forever, but that is not how we are built. In this sense, being human is like being an artist. An artist feels like he/she is one when he/she has his/her audience. In the same way, we feel human and are connected to our human emotions the most when we have someone to share ourselves with. From our best to our worst, we see ourselves in the mirror of that someone. It is also this vulnerability that freaks us out to keep on the chase.

I could go on. I feel like I am just rambling on at this point. All I guess I'm trying to say here is that I do not want to be motionless on the account of fear. I don't want to run away either.


Pardon me, sometimes I talk a lot.

Riding the wave

If you'd give your heart in my hand
I'd fear to hold on tight
To crush you sinking in the sand
And so I fight

I fight not with you
The battle is within me
It could consume you
If it overcame me

My eyes do glance at yours
While in my mind the thoughts take hold
Do you fight a battle of equal colours?
Perhaps you are riding the wave
Enjoying the story as it unfolds

But what of the dangers?
You may be walking through
A possible minefield that hasn't been swept
Both of us none the wiser to the lurking explosion
I do not think I am ideal
And you don't need a bad deal

Perhaps I overthink you
Maybe I'll ride the wave with you
If that's cool
If that's cool, I'll enjoy the story too

Rant That Does Not Rhyme

I see where I went wrong
Looking from the outside in
The turning points being obvious
All for naught though!
I cannot rewind this
I cannot redo this
This is the end and that is all

Where do I go from here?
When do I feel okay?
Every waking inactive moment is torture
The mind does not stop thinking
It gets venomous and destructive
Seeking to poison and deteriorate only myself

All I am is cynicism
Pessimism with a side-dish of stupid hope
Starved optimism slow roasted on a stick
Looking down the dark staircase into hell
Choosing between walking down and being pushed
What does it matter anyways?
Either way, I am Fucked

Screw it.

Lost

Looking inside myself to set me free
Beyond the darkness brought on by the disease
Moments of joy rarer than ever
The veils of grey they do not sever

Lost at sea of mind and time
With a fool's hope of land to find

Broken Time Machines

Holding tightly our youth that threatens to slip away
We try to wish back the wish that did come true
Losing time in too many deep breaths
We gave in and grew up instead

We'd all fly to Neverland
Turn back the clock if we could
But there is no guarantee
If we'd be the Pan or the Hook

Ignorance is bliss they say
We've all been at that age
Yet it is hard to go back to the old you
Your inner child burnt by the bitter truth

Cold Silences

Lost in my mind
Most of most times
Just until I'm told we're alright

What is usually thrown in the ditch
Is what usually starts the itch
Then the teeth are bared
And no feelings spared

Breathe in, hold, breathe out
Close my eyes, drift through the clouds
Not sure where I am headed
Not alive, Not dead