Sunday, July 31, 2011

Exhaled Fogs

You hold my hand but you don't know
What it means to me I don't show
What it means to breathe and not grow
Why the world does move so very slow

I know you look but you don't see
I react quite constantly
I prefer to live in my make believe
Here there are no fallen trees

Would you come with me to the other side
A place where you and I can hide
A space were we don't have to decide
A time when we have never lied

Of course now that is wishful thinking
What's real is this feeling sinking
I am alone and slowly blinking
Far from me you are shrinking

You are welcome to enter my illusion
Your being here is no intrusion
Your being near there's less confusion
The air is clear and there's no pollution

Sick of moving with the mob
Bored of smiling at the job
I refuse to sit down and sob
Got my eye on the door knob

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011


  1. Great job. I love writing rhyme because of the challenge it poses and how the rhyme takes on a life of its own.

    One tip though: try regularizing your lines. If you have a regular syllabic structure the lines will flow better and the rhyme will be emphasized. It isn't always necessary and the rule is made to be broken but it can help with the sound and flow.

    Keep on writing!

  2. Wow.. am impressed. I've written a poem of very similar lines chk it out.

  3. Never did get the hang of making poems that rhyme. Not an easy thing to do. I enjoyed your poem and am happy to meet you. Hugs, pat

  4. Offering for someone to come in but have a way out. Good thinking. smiles...

  5. I prefer to live in my make believe
    Here there are no fallen trees... me too!
    Great poem

  6. perfect rhyming,

    wonderful job on love's downside.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. I prefer to live in make believe these days as well. Great rhyming. :)