The Night

I'm laying in the dark
Not figuratively but literally
While outside not a single dog barks
Wondering where the words went

Selling words like slaves
All bound in chains
While I need to be paid
Literary freedom is stayed

Testing intelligence with stupidity
Avoiding expressions of creativity
To gain points of authority
And a certificate of authenticity

Is it still writer's block?
Not enough words on the clock
Up to this what do I chalk?
While my muse it mocks

At the end the only respite
Is leaving my desk out of sight
When I finally lay down and sigh
Wrapped in the darkness of the night.

(C) Rahul Chidambaran 2016

Words

There are words that aren't said
Words that need to be written
Thoughts that may fade away
Whispers of feelings smitten

    'Love and loss. From warmth to frost.
    Words that shine into the dark
    Pictures you paint to adorn your life
    Until into the abyss dies your fading light'

There are words that I may never say
Words that find their way onto paper
For the days that I shall never live
Here they'll always be safer

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2016

Going Back

This hunger is so very strange
Like my soul hasn't fed in so many days
All the moments that have led
To this time and to this place

Can't parade my wood and steel string
All the notes in my head that do not sing
Bring me back to the stage
I need to get out and do my thing

I have to shake my head when it contains you
Though you never reached out, the thoughts continue
Is my silence a result of my ego?
All I have is my solitary point of view

Right now I have neither this nor that
All out of love, like a tree with no sap
Maybe that's why I am so hungry these days
Gotta feed my soul, gotta head back

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 

Effortless

Every day is another step 
Finding peace within myself
For though it hurts to think of you
Of all that we'd never do
Reality decides to be inaccurate
Trying to get me to be irate
Leaving the dream of you 
Somehow I feel like nothing's true
Every day is another step forward
Save for the need to step backward

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Debris

I don't understand
Though you had let go of my hand
I had hoped that by letting go
That eventually your love would show
Though now I realize
That I was waiting for our demise
You ran out of love
And I suffer in your drought

The questions are a plague
My self-worth turns vague
I feel inadequate
It's a lie to say that I'm great
Trying to hang on to me
Though at the moment I'm just debris
It hurts that you didn't try
You didn't feel me when I cried

All of our dreams
They now seem to me unclean
Pictures painted black
It hurts most to just look back
I don't fully understand
Why you let go of my hand
I too was alone
And now I'm turning into stone

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Patchwork Heart

I've done it again 
Put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in hand 
I didn't think that I could 
Though now I know that I can 
I clean my dirty lenses
A futile effort 
Because perhaps they're broken
And that's why I have no foresight
It doesn't matter though at the end
I'm just a silly man 
My heart I've failed to defend
Now it begins 
Stitching back together my patchwork heart
Soon it will be time again 
To put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in someone else's hand

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Heart In The Well

Found my heart at the bottom of a well
So I sent down a pail to fetch it
All in vain, for the pail was broken
Hole punched through
And my heart fell back in
Sinking into the depths

Many times I have tried
To climb down inside
But it got deeper as I cried
My tears filled the well
I'd climb back out a shell
So at the bottom my heart did dwell

I need a little help
Someone to hold the rope
Help me descend into the deep dark well
So I may bring my heart to the surface
That I may be loved once again

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015