Debris

I don't understand
Though you had let go of my hand
I had hoped that by letting go
That eventually your love would show
Though now I realize
That I was waiting for our demise
You ran out of love
And I suffer in your drought

The questions are a plague
My self-worth turns vague
I feel inadequate
It's a lie to say that I'm great
Trying to hang on to me
Though at the moment I'm just debris
It hurts that you didn't try
You didn't feel me when I cried

All of our dreams
They now seem to me unclean
Pictures painted black
It hurts most to just look back
I don't fully understand
Why you let go of my hand
I too was alone
And now I'm turning into stone

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Heart In The Well

Found my heart at the bottom of a well
So I sent down a pail to fetch it
All in vain, for the pail was broken
Hole punched through
And my heart fell back in
Sinking into the depths

Many times I have tried
To climb down inside
But it got deeper as I cried
My tears filled the well
I'd climb back out a shell
So at the bottom my heart did dwell

I need a little help
Someone to hold the rope
Help me descend into the deep dark well
So I may bring my heart to the surface
That I may be loved once again

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Anybody

I exist in my stories
In these words I write
In the notes I play
On these lonely nights

Can you hear me?
The music in these lines
The silence in my sounds
Have you tried?

I miss the warmth
The safety in knowing
I am lost now
The cracks are growing

If you can hear me
Come back and shout
You can be anybody
That I am without

Fortress of Solitude

My castle is a prison
My palace is a tomb
Here by myself
My fortress of solitude

Displaced from society
One man's reality
Locked in my mind
Only the filth roams free

Sometimes they visit
I try to entertain
They try save me
But only in vain

So I keep them away
I know I seem rude
Lock me away
My fortress of solitude

Low Times

Hey you
I can see you've got the blues
You could use a little sunlight
In your life

Do you long to feel the rain
Fallin' on your face
On a day when you've got nothin' to worry about?
But instead you find yourself in a storm
Drenched to the bone
Never feeling at home

You fear that nobody sees you
That you are here nobody believes you
Not even yourself

Falling down the slippery slope
You are wondering when you will hit bottom
When you can wash off all this muck in a friendlier rain
Until then, here you are again

It is that time again

It is that time again
The time when my soul feels alone
Wretched to the bone
The time when everything feels wrong
Like a dis-chord in a song

I find it impossible to explain
Most things seem to be going right
Though I still feel like I am losing the fight
Most things seem to be in place
Except for me of course in this rat race

So what now?
Waiting for the crunch of Murphy's law
Trying to see where lies the flaw
Waiting for time to come to an end
A time when I won't have to pretend

You see, it is that time again
When I feel the cold fingers down my spine
Positive energy in decline
When I try to smile and prevent the panic
While I slowly turn depressingly manic

She's not the one
And she's not the one
And She's Not The One!
Shoot my Soul, if you've got the gun
I've had enough and I've had no fun

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011