The Night

I'm laying in the dark
Not figuratively but literally
While outside not a single dog barks
Wondering where the words went

Selling words like slaves
All bound in chains
While I need to be paid
Literary freedom is stayed

Testing intelligence with stupidity
Avoiding expressions of creativity
To gain points of authority
And a certificate of authenticity

Is it still writer's block?
Not enough words on the clock
Up to this what do I chalk?
While my muse it mocks

At the end the only respite
Is leaving my desk out of sight
When I finally lay down and sigh
Wrapped in the darkness of the night.

(C) Rahul Chidambaran 2016

Goals

Write a book, make a song
Make it short, make it long
Get fit now, live my life
Get fit now, love a wife

This is one, this is short
Fill the moat, leave the fort
If not great, then not best
Time to win, at this test

Be self proud, make it loud
Not the crowd, no dark cloud
Pick me up, keep me there
Oh my muse, you're my flair

Yes I'm game, yes I'm lame
I'm not tame, I'm not sane
This is done, it's been fun
You're the sun, you're the one

Fun and Games

I do not fear heights
But falling this way keeps me up at night
We say it's just fun and games
Yes it is fun, but this game is insane
Play around with words as much as we do
Unlike the birds I am falling right into you
Yes it is all just fun and games
We're just having a laugh standing in the rain

I miss you, it's true
But what does it mean?
My thoughts include you
If you know what I mean
Am I jumping too quick?
Leaping too high?
Is it gonna make me sick?
Is it worth the sigh?

I'm gonna stay as long as I can
I am afraid that I'm just a broken man
If and when you do figure me out
I hope that you don't just gut me like trout
As I walk in the dark with a faulty torch
Shadows leap at me and scare my heart
You see it's all just fun and games
Until someone gets hurt and can't bear the pain.

A fine ramble

We've come a long way from the time of the one love.
Today we may have several loves
Like changing fashions to fit our style

What exists now that didn't back then?
The feeling hasn't gone away for sure
Every time it feels real
Every time you think this could be the one
The chase is fun, but for how long?

One day you will want to just hold her/him and say "I'm not going anywhere if you're not!"
Hopefully it is not too late by then
If you can look into their eyes and feel that this right here is amazing, that's more than many can hope for.
To give that up for the endless chase is a stupid thought in itself. Even the thought that this could end at anytime is something more powerful than we realise. The pain of the loss of love is mistaken for a risk not worth taking.
That pain is beautiful and is an exceptionally powerful feeling to connect to. It is simultaneously as powerful as the love you feel, which you probably think is the only feeling you need/want to have.

It would be fine if as a species, we lived alone forever, but that is not how we are built. In this sense, being human is like being an artist. An artist feels like he/she is one when he/she has his/her audience. In the same way, we feel human and are connected to our human emotions the most when we have someone to share ourselves with. From our best to our worst, we see ourselves in the mirror of that someone. It is also this vulnerability that freaks us out to keep on the chase.

I could go on. I feel like I am just rambling on at this point. All I guess I'm trying to say here is that I do not want to be motionless on the account of fear. I don't want to run away either.


Pardon me, sometimes I talk a lot.

Riding the wave

If you'd give your heart in my hand
I'd fear to hold on tight
To crush you sinking in the sand
And so I fight

I fight not with you
The battle is within me
It could consume you
If it overcame me

My eyes do glance at yours
While in my mind the thoughts take hold
Do you fight a battle of equal colours?
Perhaps you are riding the wave
Enjoying the story as it unfolds

But what of the dangers?
You may be walking through
A possible minefield that hasn't been swept
Both of us none the wiser to the lurking explosion
I do not think I am ideal
And you don't need a bad deal

Perhaps I overthink you
Maybe I'll ride the wave with you
If that's cool
If that's cool, I'll enjoy the story too

Exhaled Fogs

You hold my hand but you don't know
What it means to me I don't show
What it means to breathe and not grow
Why the world does move so very slow

I know you look but you don't see
I react quite constantly
I prefer to live in my make believe
Here there are no fallen trees

Would you come with me to the other side
A place where you and I can hide
A space were we don't have to decide
A time when we have never lied

Of course now that is wishful thinking
What's real is this feeling sinking
I am alone and slowly blinking
Far from me you are shrinking

You are welcome to enter my illusion
Your being here is no intrusion
Your being near there's less confusion
The air is clear and there's no pollution

Sick of moving with the mob
Bored of smiling at the job
I refuse to sit down and sob
Got my eye on the door knob

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011

Lighter Moments

Pardon me while I step out of my mind
While I still can, while its not yet a crime
As the world turns on holy wars
Waves crash strongly on all our shores
Images in my mind I wish were not stored

The tide comes in, the tide goes out
Time surely we know nothing about
Yet the man-made seconds tick on by
Yet the times remain precious in our eyes
Yes we look back from time to time

In our mind of hopes and dreams
Is a reason to live on it would seem
If you are reading this on some day cold
Be glad that you are not a flattened toad
For the good times never grow old...so I'm told

So be brave and have faith
Your soul is better off with no hate
Though these words may seem lame
At least you know that you're not to blame
They'll rhyme just right when it rains

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011