Riding the wave

If you'd give your heart in my hand
I'd fear to hold on tight
To crush you sinking in the sand
And so I fight

I fight not with you
The battle is within me
It could consume you
If it overcame me

My eyes do glance at yours
While in my mind the thoughts take hold
Do you fight a battle of equal colours?
Perhaps you are riding the wave
Enjoying the story as it unfolds

But what of the dangers?
You may be walking through
A possible minefield that hasn't been swept
Both of us none the wiser to the lurking explosion
I do not think I am ideal
And you don't need a bad deal

Perhaps I overthink you
Maybe I'll ride the wave with you
If that's cool
If that's cool, I'll enjoy the story too

Rant That Does Not Rhyme

I see where I went wrong
Looking from the outside in
The turning points being obvious
All for naught though!
I cannot rewind this
I cannot redo this
This is the end and that is all

Where do I go from here?
When do I feel okay?
Every waking inactive moment is torture
The mind does not stop thinking
It gets venomous and destructive
Seeking to poison and deteriorate only myself

All I am is cynicism
Pessimism with a side-dish of stupid hope
Starved optimism slow roasted on a stick
Looking down the dark staircase into hell
Choosing between walking down and being pushed
What does it matter anyways?
Either way, I am Fucked

Screw it.

Lost

Looking inside myself to set me free
Beyond the darkness brought on by the disease
Moments of joy rarer than ever
The veils of grey they do not sever

Lost at sea of mind and time
With a fool's hope of land to find

Broken Time Machines

Holding tightly our youth that threatens to slip away
We try to wish back the wish that did come true
Losing time in too many deep breaths
We gave in and grew up instead

We'd all fly to Neverland
Turn back the clock if we could
But there is no guarantee
If we'd be the Pan or the Hook

Ignorance is bliss they say
We've all been at that age
Yet it is hard to go back to the old you
Your inner child burnt by the bitter truth

Cold Silences

Lost in my mind
Most of most times
Just until I'm told we're alright

What is usually thrown in the ditch
Is what usually starts the itch
Then the teeth are bared
And no feelings spared

Breathe in, hold, breathe out
Close my eyes, drift through the clouds
Not sure where I am headed
Not alive, Not dead

System of Belief

If you're a little odd
And you don't need no God
And when you hear my little song
You find your head does nod
If you need relief
And you don't need no beef
Don't worry babe and have some faith
I'll be your system of belief

I can see that you are down
Yeah your face does that frown
Pretty babe I'll make you smile
I'll always stick around
You just need relief
And I wanna see your teeth
Don't worry babe, I'll keep you safe
I'll be your system of belief

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011

Red

My muse of sorrow has left me
I hope she never returns
Muse of fire, I found thee
For you my heart does burn

You and I, our love historical
So said the knowing Oracle
Somehow you already know
That I will never let go

Hold now my open hand
Can you feel my heart expand?
Come on now, let us walk
Our eyes shine in the dark

From my murky deep
Once again, I feel
You see and don't turn away
With me you do sway

It was you I heard all along
While I played the same old songs
Say those words once again
I gladly swallow your pain

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011