Soul Suicide

These words are like knives and they cut into my sides and I am barely sleeping these nights
While I wouldn't suicide, it's a wonder how many times I've slit these wrists from the inside and how often I've hung myself on my own ropes in the hope that I cease to exist
For it's all in the mind and off late I haven't been the smiling kind
I wish that someone could show me the light but even then to walk into it I may not have the might

Ineffective Words

What do I write?
How do I take these feelings and run them through my word machine only to find out that the machine is broken.
As if you are every breath that I have ever taken and the thought to which I awaken.
I force myself to find new words to describe this only because I feel like I haven't done it justice yet. And I don't want to.
I want to spend the rest of my days trying and then just almost failing to get these words perfect.
There are so many ways in which you are beautiful but I sometimes decide to feel a little good about myself and say that the most beautiful thing about you is how you see me. For you are my mirror in so many ways, reflecting and echoing me except that you take me by surprise in your reflection of me.
I also hope that when you see your reflection in me that it is accurate in its depiction of supernovas and swirling galaxies spinning around and coming to a stop as time froze for that millisecond and then continued. This is how I feel when I see you, like I might never see something that makes me this happy again. That I would do anything to be the piece of cloth that drapes you.
So as you hit the road this morning, ask me for a reading, as I tell you ineffectively how much I love you once again.

The Rescue

Another one from my notepad.

Souls shot to hell
By the hands that were meant to care
She runs away, an empty shell
Away from that ones that care,
Straight into the pain of everyday

She wants what she wants
From the world and all its beauty
Yet she fears, she hesitates
Held back by ropes that should not exist


She needs fixing, let us fix her
Maybe we can put her back together
Pull out the knives
Bring her soul back to life

But, should we fail in saving this soul
We must refrain from losing control
We must protect and save our own souls

© Rahul Chidambaran 2011