Back here again

Why do I write?

I forget sometimes. I write to let it out. These emotions that find their place on these digital pages.

And here they remain, etched in digital space, where I forget them. Why worry when it's out of my system? Right?

But then I forget. The feelings come back. The strongest ones always do. Like you. My strongest one yet.

Feeling like having my soul ripped apart from my body and put back in repeatedly.

Wondering why this skin feels alien and realizing that it is because it hasn't touched yours.

Then I have you. You who reads these words. Not once, but as many times as you do.

So as I am out there pulling out my hair and bordering on another bout of insanity, your hand appears on my shoulder.

Like a beacon that knows me and my words, you lead me back to what I once wrote.

Like a voice that reminds me, "hey, you've been here before"

I've been here before. I'll be back here again, until I feel alright, until I have the certainty of you in my arms. Till the day I fall into you falling into me, I'll be back here again. An exploding implosion.

Visibly invisible. Living dead. I'll be back here again.

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015